Part Four: Self-Observation and Ego
function of ego, embracing contraries, the emotional plague
WHO ARE YOU, REALLY?
There comes a point where no further artistic development is possible without addressing the issue of ego. “Ego”, as it is used here, refers to any emotional investment and attachment to a image of ourselves (often as “ego ideal” or "ego-victim"), resulting in a fixation with a positive or negative self-image. Ego as self-image; big ego as big self-image. If we are stay creative and open to increased creativity, we must learn to distinguish an “image” of who we are from the living source of who we actually are -- before any labels or images were imposed on the experience. Image vs. source; ego and The Self (the totality of our whole being). When we confuse one aspect of ourselves for The Self, we become limited and owned by that ego. When confusing ego with its larger originating source in The Self, we become more easily convinced, or conned, into believing "I am the creator" or "this is my creation" when, at best, we are as vessels for the expression of Creation. The self-image of "Artist" is self-delusion; that title is for others and the world to decide.
Ego expresses a subcategory of a larger category in the archetype of The Self; ego is subordinate to, and created by, The Self. When the part (ego) is confused for the whole (being), we become “bedeviled” by ego. Please understand - ego is not the devil but identifying with ego can become vexing. Who has not experienced creative shutdown -- our so-called “creative blocks” -- after falsely assuming credit for what we never truly created or was never truly ours to claim? We are all imposters; there are no exceptions. We do well well to openly discuss and expose the Imposter within us and its social mask, the Poseur. There is no shame in this confession but revelation. There is no crime in being unknown to oneself.
Who are you, really? Are you your name ? Are you the offspring of your parents and the genetic link to the future of your ancestral gene pool ? Are you the collection of your habits, fears, desires, beliefs, ideas, and needs ? Are you a figment of your imagination, a dreamer dreaming yourself into existence? Are you what you were hoping for? Beyond all these scenarios, parental and genetic influences, our education and philosophical ideas and beliefs, who are you really ? The truth about yourself may be stranger than you think; who you truly are may be even stranger than you can think.
Embracing contraries within our human nature requires a certain freedom from self-image fixation. For example, when we become enamored with the image of being strong, we may do well to play our weakness. If we are in love with the self-image of independence, why not play more to our sense of dependence? If we covet an ego of intelligence, why not openly explore our ignorance? If you pride yourself as a radical person, are you radical enough to be conservative ? As we learn to accept and live with more truth about ourselves, we are not so quick to judge others for their defects, shortcomings, and contradictions. This radical self-acceptance supports the development of a stronger, more supple, and flexible ego. A strong ego is not the same as a big ego which results from any inflated, one-sided idea or image of ourselves; big egos express brittle states of psychological rigidity. Strong flexible egos thrive in the heart of contradiction, openly embodying the contraries of our universal human condition as they erupt from the wellsprings of the Unconscious.
Ego emerges from The Self -- the Self does not emerge from the Ego. Just as the Self gives birth to the Ego, the Ego gives birth to individual consciousness. Self-sourcing, not to be confused with the pathology of narcissism, or ego-sourcing, consistently exposes the ego to the Self. Any genuine experience of The Self often results in a defeat for any ego naive to a greater presence of intelligence than its own narratives and biases. In the face of this defeat, the ego either learns to respect and honor a source greater than itself or keep resisting and remain ignorant. When the ego finally aligns with The Self, we come to experience and know ourselves in a more holistic way - as an expression of a larger, changing whole. As the archetype of Self is accessed, sourced, and expressed, we encounter the deeper contraries innate to our human nature: we are weak and strong, stupid and intelligent, beautiful and ugly, good and evil. If self-acceptance can develop alongside these exposures, we can learn to live wth more truth about ourselves and each other. If empathy for our humanity can develop, the narcissism trap can be bypassed. A little narcissism goes a long way and a little empathy keeps it that way.
the emotional plague
“The emotional plague”; a term coined by Wilhelm Reich for the "irrational insistence on beliefs and ideas that depend on dissociation of mind from body". This body/mind fissure has been historically dramatized in many religions that maintain this dissociative belief. Currently, the emotional plague appears in the collective projection (investment) of vital physical, emotional, psychic and sexual energy into the mentally absorbent mediums of the internet, VR technology, video games, mass media advertising, and television. The emotional plague is sustained whenever we mistake the virtual for the actual, talk for the actions they promise, or when we confuse images and ideas for the realities they symbolize. Eating the menu instead of the meal, mistaking the map for the territory, etc. I know, I know...many know this already but sometimes we may need re-minding...
Two modern-day symptoms of the emotional plague in the Hypermedia Era have surfaced as: 1) an increasing trend towards de-personalization, homogenization and gentrification and 2) a steadily decreasing capacity for direct experience. As we lose trust and faith in the legitimacy of firsthand experience, we can naturally become more vulnerable and compliant to the dictates of external sources of authority and its endless cycles of obedience and punishment. Without enough trust in our own innate sensibilities, intuitions and instincts we suffer from an absence of vital information, leading to a growing incapacity to distinguish between the real from the illusory, the true from the false, and what's right from what's wrong. Without self-trust -- trust in our own direct experience -- we remain as timid children dependent on parental approval and guidance for the way we live, work, procreate, domesticate, and die.
What is real and what is an illusion ? Do you know ? Do you care ? If you don’t know and can say so, you are probably just waking up. If you don't know and/or don't care, don't bother; you are probably fast asleep. The emotional plague doesn’t care either and you will soon be assimilated, if you have not already been consumed. If you have come to know what’s real in life, dare to live by your vision, your truth; your example acts as a beacon for those lost at sea in their struggles to survive as living, awakening human beings.
Part One: Orientation
culture, paratheatre, verticality, the asocial cimate
Part Two: Integrity Loss and Recovery
the force of commitment, what feeds the being
Part Three: The Performer/Audience Romance
talent and skill, the total act, the No-Form technique
Part Five: Self-initiation
on the bridge between the worlds and
what drains the power of dreaming
Part Six: A Cultural Overview
a mass hallucination of a society gone mad