Adam Palermo
Initiations (Spring 2004), Techniques (Spring 2005), Alchemy (Spring 2006)
Ex Nihilo
In late-2003, I found a flier promoting the live demonstration of the ParaTheatrical ReSearch medium at CELLSpace in San Francisco. I had zero experience in any movement-based forms (except rave parties in Detroit), but was desperate for some sort of change. I had just been released from the I.C. unit of SF General and had ten stitches on right side of my neck. Self-diagnosis: emotional repression/communication breakdown - manifested as abcess in throat. (The doctors called it "bad luck.")
While witnessing the live demonstration, I felt a tingling through my hands and beating in my chest as "the movers" executed the four-stage warm-up in front of the audience's eyes. I immediately signed up on Sylvi's clipboard. The INITIATIONS Lab, which evolved into ORPHANS of DELIRIUM, was an experience that I can equate to the feeling of when the doctors shoved a twelve-inch tube up my nose, void of anaesthetic - and pulled it through my throat for feeding. Like the illness, a part of me needed to be killed in order to start again via the Lab sessions.
A year so later - after opening myself up to Butoh Dance and Yoga - I participated in the TECHNIQUES Lab - where I worked with restraint, letting go of the need to electrocute myself when exposed to greater energies... reaching for a new level of acceptance and grace in my life.
We recently completed the ALCHEMY Lab - an inward experience of deep receptivity and tears of release - which culminated with three nites of ritual at Pinnacles Campground. For me, the ALCHEMY Lab was an investigation in body awareness and a devotion to the retrieval of my soul. Over the course of three months, I became hyper-aware of my hands - my need to hide or clench them - working with relaxation, vulnerability, and exposure.
I am currently immersed in my first self-initiated body of performance work. An Identity de.re/construktion. The Paratheatre serves as the foundation to my performance practice. My point of emptiness, honesty, connect.
Adam M. Palermo
Berlin, Germany
provocateur@heartkore.com
Sylvi Alli
Crux (Summer 1999), Dreaming Rituals (Winter, 2000),
Anima/Animus (Spring 2001), Ancestors (Fall 2001),
Trinity (Summer 2002), Song as Vehicle (Winter 2004),
Techniques (Spring 2005), Alchemy (Spring 2006),
Song and a Prayer (Winter 2006), Chakra Lab (Spring 2007)
Significants of change
For the past ten years I have participated in Antero Alli's paratheatre ritual labs fairly consistently, and this work has had a profound impact upon my life. I acknowledge that I will never be able to communicate with words the places and miraculous encounters my psyche has traversed in the course of this work, but I will share some of the ways that participating in paratheatre has initiated change in me.
Starting with my most recent immersion in the ritual work - The Alchemy Lab - I am emerging from this 3 month lab with a stronger grasp of "process", the continuing journey, replete with cycles: tending the seed, fruition, death, rebirth......the open-ended process of my own individual life. I have also become increasingly aware of the value of and my need for receptivity, in all aspects of my life - especially creative, relational, spiritual - and how this receptive state demands true stillness, as well as deeper listening.
Overall, the paratheatre work has had an effect of breaking down my self-imposed boundaries, limitations, and fixed ideas. And this, in turn, has strongly affected the degree of self-consciousness that I move through life with. When I first began this work, my self-consciousness level was extremely high, but over the years, as my commitment to the work has deepened, I have experienced a lessening and, at times, a complete absence of self-consciousness. I have gained more freedom, especially in the area of expression - expression of energies, expression of self.
Another way this work has strongly influenced my life is in the area of "not knowing". Where, at one time, I viewed "not knowing" as a huge problem, now this state of uncertainty, of not having a preconception of what lies ahead, has proven to be the very realm of magic, of creativity, of miracles, even.......
Everything I've mentioned here is tied in to what is at the crux of this work, letting go, emptying out - the practice of No Form - No Form Rules!
Sylvi Alli
Berkeley, Califirnia
sylvi@verticalpool.com
Antero Alli
director (click image for paratheatre background)
After thirty years of doing and facilitating this work, I have witnessed its metamorphosis through many stages. These phases were nurtured and furthered by each particular group -- with their unique talents and skills -- and by the many lab themes explored since 1977. Of all the ways this work has impacted me, I'd say the technique of No-Form has probably yielded the most transformative and long-lasting results.
I no longer have much use for a self-image.
Through the persistent exposure and confrontation with charged polarities -- dynamic interplays of contrary forces within the Self -- any attempts at clinging to any one image or idea of “me” has been rendered absurd. I cannot, without laughing outloud, identify myself as “an artist” nor "director" or “ritualist” or “teacher” or “author”. Even though I often play these roles for others -- and have learned to respect these social processes -- my true identity dwells elsewhere.
I have also been profoundly impacted by the high levels of integrity and autonomy shown by the men and women who have shared ritual time and space with me. Their commitment has encouraged me to continue when opposing forces might have pushed me to quit. Visions from certain rituals have burned into the retina of my very soul from extended moments -- little infinities -- of such convulsive beauty, miraculous interactions of self-governing bodies, that words simply fail to convey.
The most lasting influences continue in me as a constellation of internal sources: a nurturing connectivity with my invisible Finnish ancestry, a creative and prolific relationship with the Anima/Muse, and a daily, almost mundane, alignment with verticality. These three sources embody my personal holy trinity, a charged coherence that creates meaning and purpose in my life. My longterm experience has also allowed me to serve others working in this medium and for that I remain, deeply grateful.
Antero Alli
Berkeley CA
noform@paratheatrical.com
JoJo Razor
Song as Vehicle (Winter 2004), Techniques (Spring 2005),
Clown Lab (Winter 2005), Alchemy Lab (Spring 2006)
Song and a Prayer (Winter 2006) Chakra Lab (Spring 2007)
The greatest impact that Paratheatrical Research has had on my life started with the day of my first audition for the “Songs as Vehicles” lab. I am a vocalist who felt that I had not found my own unique voice and was hoping that this opportunity would help me discover it. When Antero told me I would find and develop a song over the next three months from my own culture I knew instantly that this would have a huge impact on my life regardless if I made the audition or not. Coming from a family with a broken history, I had never gone past the idea that I was physically an American and a 4th generational Californian. I vowed, that day, to delve into my own cultural heritage.
Little did I know that the ritual dive into the ancestral sea would lead me into the realm of the internal landscape that is infinitely filled with images, songs, knowledge, and spirit. I have not only discovered my own unique voice, but many other voices as well. I continue to discover and uncover the rigidity within me that has kept me from using my voice for expressing and commanding. I have encountered stories that are mythic in size and visions that have impacted many areas of my personal life. I feel that the schism that lies between my physicality and spirituality is being sewn together in each lab, with the gold thread that is produced from each ritual.
I am humbled to have found this place. I am grateful to Antero and to the others who have led me here.
JoJo Razor
Oakland California
jojorazor@jojorazor.com
Benjamin JarrettThe Alchemy Lab (Spring 2006)
I participated in the Spring 2006 Alchemy Lab with much confusion, frustration, embarrasment, and shame. I've always known that my ego was large, but this lab held a mirror in front of me that I could not look away from. For the better part of the lab, I was moody, defeated, closed-off, and hyper-judgemental. What the lab did for me was what it didn't to, ie: it gave me no comfort. It, Antero, and the other paricipants, did not take care of me. The discomfort I felt was that of a naughty boy who's now got to play and have fun instead of just shut himself up in his room and read all day. This feeling did not leave me upon the closing of the circle. What remained was to be digested and chewed on for months to come. And the result of this lab was to liken me to one who had been dreaming and received a slap in the face to wake up to the wonders of life unfolding at all times; along with the pain, the pleasure, the joy as well as the grief, the horror and the humor. It gave me a smorgasboard of tools with which to take with me on my way along this path. Tools for illumination of what's in front of me.
Benjamin Jarrett
Berkeley CA
jarrett_benjamin@hotmail.com
Joshua Bewig
The Alchemy lab (Spring 2006), Song and a Prayer (Winter 2006)
I thought of this paragraph while I was packing up my stuff in my room. I'm looking forward to continuing the lab on my own when I go camping for several days this week...
Where to begin? The force of unwavering commitment comes to mind. Or backing up a little further: the crystal clarity of intention. Or further still: simply being in no-form, from whence all motion comes. The stillness that makes motion possible, that embodies all polarity. If the task of the artist is to perpetually map her or his wanderings in the void, then one must strive relentlessly towards an intimacy with that void. I have learned that the ego is a fragile center to cling to. Let it shatter and reassemble itself in the image of its source. We begin and end at the source, again and again, always distilling. This is our work.
Joshua Bewig
San Francisco CA
joshua@naturetheaterofoklahoma.com
http://naturetheaterofoklahoma.com/
Julian Simeon in "Song as Vehicles"
Archaic Community (Winter 1991, Seattle), Crux (Summer 1999),
Dreaming Rituals (Winter 2000), Trinity (Summer 2002),
Initiations (Spring 2004), Song as Vehicle (Winter 2004),
Song and a Prayer (Winter 2006), Chakra Lab (Spring 2007)
I first met Antero Alli about 25 years ago. I was a graduate student in an innovative wilderness psychology program at Sonoma State University. I was working towards a minor in Theatre and was taking a mime class with solo stage actor, Fred Curchack. Antero substituted a few of the classes in Fred's absense. My body can still remember the first exercise this "X-Factor sub" had the class attempt. Our task was to find a "way" to move across the room and end the movement in a tableau. We did it over and over again. It was like wind sprints for aspiring ritual actors. I loved it.
Turns out this fellow Antero was in search of a character for a stage play he had written and would direct and co-star in "Chapel Perilous". I was honored and gleefully surprised when he asked me to play the part of Ka, a masked raven preacher with an evangelical bent in Section 23. It was fun, exciting and a lot of work as the play toured Petaluma, San Francisco, and the town of Mendocino.
As part of rehearsals Antero introduced a working modality he called Ritual Theatre (RT). I fondly recall that wilderness Professor Robert Greenway gave Antero a key to Steven's Hall so our RT group could access classroom space to work... sometimes starting at midnight. The intrigue of his work caught more than my attention.
As a participant in the RT work I was able to access fleeting moments and insights that I had only experienced through work with ethnogens or out on a long wilderness trip. This drug free modality had me hooked. Hmmm... I thought. I like this work.
Working with Antero over the years, I have been in a few live ritual theatre performances, three or four video films, and numerous RT labs. I take breaks from the Work from time to time. Some longer than others. But when my Spirit yearns to worship and pray, then it is time for me to seek the next lab.
Ritual Theatre is a vehicle which when worked at with intent and commitment can take one to places not accessible under "normal" conditions. I thank Antero Alli for his dedication to the Work. His Work. I am grateful to have met him and call him Friend.
Julian V. Simeon
The Russian River, CA
buhay1@hotmail.com
Lapo
The Initiations Lab (Winter/Spring 2003/04)
Through intentional acts, we cause change in conformity with our will to contact archetypes and surrender to them, becoming vehicles for their expression. Out of this we gain the experience of both extremes of opposing archetypal polarities, which increases (when repeated, shook and mixed regularly) elasticity in the ego, our main means of functioning "horizontally". This in turn decreases resistance to change and helps develop an ability that isn't taught anywhere (anywhere ordinary, at least) and in a sense cannot really be "taught".
Even though we talk about sources, archetypes, deities and so on, none of it is made up, or existing only in the realm of the mind. Intellectually-oriented (or "-lopsided"!) individuals such as myself obviously benefit enormously from such an approach, because it demands we develop sides of our self that have typically been left somewhat behind. But it remains a sound method of working for just about anyone, especially when doing work that aims at evoking/invoking "energies" not usually tapped into.
Paratheatrical work also forces us to do something of paramount importance to anybody interested in any kind of harmonious development of being: through it we feel our body deeply. This may sound like not much, but once it is done, its more profound implications become evident. By answering this key need of our body, that of having our consciousness imbue, accompany and penetrate it, we have an opportunity to honor the alchemical marriage between Psyche and Essence. Which is, by the way, one of those covenants that really can't be escaped - until death doth you part, anyway.
excerpted from 'Corridor of Madness'c
erpted fromLapo
Nevada City CA
Jessica Bockler
The Alchemy Lab (Spring 2006)
Just over a year ago I followed a hunch. Whilst researching Jerzy Grotowski’s work on the internet I came across Antero Alli’s website and work. I was immediately fascinated … everything I read on the site was so much what I was striving for as a theatre practitioner, artist and writer … everything I read was so much about what I needed as a human being. And so I set my intention … to travel from Liverpool in the UK to Berkeley … to participate in Antero’s Alchemy Laboratory in the spring of 2006.
What I encountered in this lab is something I will never forget – yet it is still largely ineffable. The work was intense, powerful, demanding, exploratory yet disciplined, tedious yet exhilarating, carefully structured yet utterly unpredictable. I loved almost every moment of it … and I now deeply appreciate the moments of frustration, fear and disorientation I experienced when things didn’t go so smoothly for me! Indeed, those moments were an essential part of the journey … they helped me gain a deeper insight into myself … and I feel that I have grown as an artist and as a person. Antero, thank you so much for the adventurous ride! I hope I may find my way back to you in the coming years!
Jesscia Bockler,
Liverpool UK
j.bockler@btopenworld.com
artwork by Lily Nova
Song as Vehicle (Winter 2004)
I first met Antero in person at a Nevada City showing of "Crux," one of his many films. I was impressed with his understated manner. He has a powerful presence and seemingly not the slightest push to get his message across. He seems to be waiting to get something from others to respond to and then he considers what has been said before continuing. What caught my attention was the challenging question posed throughout "Crux": “What are you living for?” I tried to find an answer inside myself but I knew that there was no easy answer. It’s a question that needs to be asked again and again.
Working in the "Song As Vehicle" (Winter 2004) paratheatrical lab was a great experience and helped me expand my world in many ways. As a result, I feel a tremendous expansion in my outlook, my perception of myself and others, my willingness to try new things, meet new challenges, and I have found a great love of learning. My life has changed radically since meeting him.
Lily Nova
Nevada City CA
novalil@yahoo.com
Jonnie Gilman
"Mass of the Iconoclasts", (performance lab, Winter 1992, Seattle)
Anima/Animus (Spring 2001, Berkeley)
By committing to the work I immersed myself in a psychic boot camp. I had tremendous resistance to it. Doing the polarity work was threatening, I felt much too vulnerable, or I felt nothing. NoForm was way too abstract. I could not begin to stop my internal voices, be still, get empty. I also found myself tremendously attracted to another participant, which lead to my being preoccupied with my appearance, both in my physical form, as well as how well I “performed.” In the fecund petri dish of ritual lab, this attraction became obsession, and it became difficult for me to separate my experience of the lab from this state. This was my initiation.
In the course of the obsession I discovered how deceitful and manipulative I could be, how false I could appear to be to gain someone’s trust. I lost any illusion about my inherent goodness. I continued with my manipulative ploys until they consumed me and imploded, leaving me covered in my own shit like some kind of tar baby.
Fortunately I stuck with the process and in time, with grace, came to a place of awareness and compassion. As the drama subsided, I was able to go more deeply into the actual work of the Parathreatre lab. My voice opened up and I found I could sing. I noticed colors were deeper and brighter. My self consciousness disappeared. I could allow an openness, a spontaneity in my being and expression. I could forget myself and be “nobody.”
Now going into NoForm feels like coming home, being in that still state of receptivity, open to be moved by the actual conditions and influences of the moment. Open to the mystery of now. I credit NoForm with my recent successes with Reiki and healing energy work. I truly know how to “get out of the way” and become a conduit for larger forces. I am grateful for this.
Jonnie Gilman
Seattle WA
jonnie@archerserve.com
"little red fish" by Heather Hanan
The Anima/Animus Lab (Spring 2001) and The Ancestors Lab (Fall 2001)
Oh! You mean the impact of being allowed to play in full seriousness? Going as deep as I wish into the ocean of what it is that wants to arise into consciousness? The impact of my own heat and committment, guided quietly, respectfully, no hypnosis? Are you kidding? The impact?
The gift of peace in no-form that creates boundaries from these visits with archetypes and dualities, with unconscious/superconscious material, that gift, that fecund space of all-potential, how has that impacted me, and my life of making art? I bring these all to the canvas. I dance before I paint, I stand in no-form, I may designate a specific theme...or not...I may allow what is un-known to appear. I paint animas of my male sitters, I paint moods and dreams of cities.
Hi Antero, that's how the paratheatrical work has stayed with me in actuality.
Heather Hanan
parathru@yahoo.com
more impact stories to come
LAB REPORTS AND RITUAL JOURNALS
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